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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Relieved in pain...

Salam to all...

Last four days, I went back to my kampung in Kuala Pilah, Negeri Sembilan, alone. Well, the first reason is that I really missed my mak angkat and my 'family' there. It's been awhile, actually, since I went back last year. Memang happy sangat perasaan nie bile I've met my grandma. She was really happy that finally I went back. My 'aunts' 'uncles' and my 'cousins' were also there. Wow! REALLY HAPPY HERE! However, even though I got a lot of things to talked about with my mak, her husband a.k.a my 'stepfather' was always with her. Actually, I don't really like him cos' he's sorta doesn't like me. You know, because I am Jamal's 'son' a.k.a my mak's ex. So, I think that he's sorta jealous of me because of I-don't-know-why. Shish... I just missed her very much, but he always in the line, blocking me to be with my mak. I could barely having chit-chat with mak. I felt really sad, but at least, I got my aunts, uncles, my grandma and my cousins to cheer me up. Haiya...

The second reason was that I want to clear up my mind that was full with problems. Lots of problems to solve. I did having fights in messages with the people that I really loved once back in KL (but not my girlfriend and my family, thank you very much, huhu...). My, only god knows how I felt on those days. Kenapa la diorang sanggup say those nasty words to me, just like they wont respect me anymore. I don't want to talk about it much. If they really love me like what they have said before, they wont do or say such words to me. After all this time, I help them, listen to them, give them courage and advices, but this is what they returned to me: Hatred, and maybe jealousy. Why? Well, I know that I did what I have to do. I felt like I am not me anymore. I'm not I've used to be... God, help me...

p/s: at least at the kampung, I felt so calm and unstressed because of the environment and the cool air. And at least, I did give my self time to think about how to solve the problems... Hurm...

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