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Monday, December 28, 2009

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Relieved in pain...

Salam to all...

Last four days, I went back to my kampung in Kuala Pilah, Negeri Sembilan, alone. Well, the first reason is that I really missed my mak angkat and my 'family' there. It's been awhile, actually, since I went back last year. Memang happy sangat perasaan nie bile I've met my grandma. She was really happy that finally I went back. My 'aunts' 'uncles' and my 'cousins' were also there. Wow! REALLY HAPPY HERE! However, even though I got a lot of things to talked about with my mak, her husband a.k.a my 'stepfather' was always with her. Actually, I don't really like him cos' he's sorta doesn't like me. You know, because I am Jamal's 'son' a.k.a my mak's ex. So, I think that he's sorta jealous of me because of I-don't-know-why. Shish... I just missed her very much, but he always in the line, blocking me to be with my mak. I could barely having chit-chat with mak. I felt really sad, but at least, I got my aunts, uncles, my grandma and my cousins to cheer me up. Haiya...

The second reason was that I want to clear up my mind that was full with problems. Lots of problems to solve. I did having fights in messages with the people that I really loved once back in KL (but not my girlfriend and my family, thank you very much, huhu...). My, only god knows how I felt on those days. Kenapa la diorang sanggup say those nasty words to me, just like they wont respect me anymore. I don't want to talk about it much. If they really love me like what they have said before, they wont do or say such words to me. After all this time, I help them, listen to them, give them courage and advices, but this is what they returned to me: Hatred, and maybe jealousy. Why? Well, I know that I did what I have to do. I felt like I am not me anymore. I'm not I've used to be... God, help me...

p/s: at least at the kampung, I felt so calm and unstressed because of the environment and the cool air. And at least, I did give my self time to think about how to solve the problems... Hurm...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Is This The End - Zee Avi


Is this the end?
Then why does it feel
That we’d only just begun
I thought we were done

I think I’ll hang on
If you still want me
But if you don’t
I guess I’ll move on

But if you need me
Close your eyes and dream
I’ll give you back your key
But will you be happy?

Said we’ll leave it alone
But I wont be here long
And when I’m gone
I guess then we’ll know...

What Am I To You - Norah Jones


What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you...


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Do they really make me like this...?


Do they really make me like this?

Do they really neglecting me?
Do they really wants to leave me?
Do they really hate me for being who I am?
Do they really cheated me?
Do they really played me?
Do they really make me as a joke?
Do they really stab me from my back?
Do they really take/know me for granted?

And lastly...

Do they really love me...?

Because I feels really hurt right now...
Why do I always feels that people that I love does always leaving me...?
Don't they love me anymore...?
Because I really love them so much, after god and my family...
*hmm...

p/s: What is really going on with my life...? God please help me... When is this 'thing' is going to stop...='(

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Pasrah-Erra Fazira

Ingin ku Sendiri
Meniti Hari
Kala Sunyi
Yang Melanda Sepi
Alam Bisu
Bagaikan Mengerti
Berakhirnya Sebuah Memori

Ingin ku Melangkah
Membawa Diri
Kerna Cinta
Yang Dikhianati
Luka Rasa Untuk Menghadapi
Pengorbanan Tidak Dihargai

Kini Aku
Pasrah
Dengan Segalanya
Kepedihan Itu
Masih Terasa
Apakah Salahku
Apakah Dosaku
Tuhan Berilahku Petunjukmu
Redha Dengan Kehendakmu
Cukup Kali Ini
Kau Menyakiti
Berulangkali
Tak Usahlah Kembali
Dengan Rela Hati
Melepas Kau Pergi

Ingin ku Sendiri
Meniti Hari
Kala Sunyi
Yang Melanda Sepi
Alam Bisu
Bagaikan Mengerti
Berakhirnya Sebuah Memori

Monday, December 14, 2009

Just wait & see...


Salam to all...

Well, my emotions is TOTALLY,SUPREMELY DOWN lately... Got so many problems I had to cope with until now. Sometimes, I really don't understand, why does people will do something so reckless in order to get what they wants. Can't they just accept that sometimes, they had to let go something that they really love in order to continue life? Hurm... It doesn't mean that I hate them so much, or I just should let them be; but I did help them. I gave everything that I could give-help, advice, time, everything... I really do understand, that they're so desperate for 'it'. I know, they are dying, and I know, they really want to be with 'it', but they can't act like that; put their own live in danger, just want to show that they really want 'it'. It is totally crazy+nonsense! So now, if they don't want to listen, or follow and do as I say, well, I do feel really upset, but it's their decision. It doesn't mean that I'm giving up on them, NO! Never! But, only they could change themselves. If they still want to continue with their stupid-freakin'-reckless live, carry on. I know, it's hard for me to accept what they do because I love them very much... and I could barely watch them suffering their lives, but I already did what I did best. So now, it's their job now; to follow or to ignore, what I've been telling them for a long time. I don't know what to do or say anymore... I do feel sad right now, but I had to do this... I do really love them very much and I don't want to loose them. But I just have to wait and see what's going to happen to them in the future. It's their decision...
I know I had to do what's best for me and for them, and right now, all I had to do is just pray to god, please open their heart... So now, just wait and see...

p/s: what's is going on with them... god, I really wish I could help and change their mind...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Nur Kasih - Yasin (OST Nur Kasih)


Lewat ini ku rasakan
Kasih kian ku dambakan
Resah hati yang ku pendam
Pada takdir dan harapan

Detik waktu dan suratan
Siapa tahu ketentuan
Ku mencari cahayanya
Dalam bayang kegelapan

Nur kasih
Nur kasih

Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain hukum setiap insan
Mengharapkan perjalanan
Dalam maya kesamaran

Nur kasih
Nur kasih

Aku kembali kerana masih
Mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi

Aku kembali kerana
Masih mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi

Nur nur ya nur kasih
Nur ya nur kasih
Nur nur kasih
Nur kasih

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Burn-Usher


I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to
Let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time comin
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

[Chorus]
When the feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know it is through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-'leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

[Chorus]
When the feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know it is through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me
that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down
and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me
that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

[Chorus]
When the feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know it is through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

The Wind Beneath My Wings-Bette Midler


Oh, oh, oh, oh

It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So, I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle
you are the wind beneath my wings

It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know, I know the truth, of course I know it
I would be nothing without you

Did you ever know that you're my hero
You're everything I wish I could be
If could fly higher than an eagle
you are the wind beneath my wings

Did I ever tell you you're my hero
You're everything, everything I wish I could be
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle
you are the wind beneath my wings
Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

Oh, the wind beneath my wings
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings
Fly, fly, fly away, you let me fly so high
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings
Fly, fly, so high against the sky
So high, I almost touch the sky
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings

Team Edward vs. Team Jacob...


p/s: Twilight saga rulezz...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Ghost Of You - My Chemical Romance


I never said I’d lie in wait forever
If I died, we'd be together now
I can’t always just forget her
But she could try

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home
Never coming home
Could I, should I
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever, ever, ever

Get the feeling that you’re never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs, in my arms she dies
She dies

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home
Never coming home
Could I, should I
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I, should I
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall
If I fall (down)

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home

And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I, should I
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Outing with her... Wiehaa!!!


Salam to all...

Hari nie, I went out with my girlfriend for a movie! Kitorang tengok citer Twilight Saga:New Moon. Fuh... memang best. Well, kitorang takde la pergi jauh sangat, takat tengok wayang kat Brem Mall jew(sebab dekat sangat. Bagus kan!?). Macam biasa, kalau girls dapat tengok 'hot bods' Taylor Lautner a.k.a Jacob Black dalam movie tue tadi, mesti banyak komen, kan? Termasuk la my girfriend, sampai kekadang tue bikin I jelez ar jugak ngan Taylor. kikiki... Tak pe, 1 day nanti, I mesti apat hot biceps n body macam dia jugak nanti. ahakz! Well, at least hari nie dapat release tension semalam. Happy jer ngan dia. Ape2 hal pun, batas2 pergaulan masih kena jaga, x bley lebey2 haa... huhuhu... Whatever it is, hari nie memang bikin ++ romantik antara kitorang berdua. kikiki. Sebelum gi tengok wayang, sempat lagi gi 'karaoke jamban'. Dapat la jugak sambar 5 lagu. ahakz... Best dapat nyanyi duet ngan dia. Suara dia boleh tahan jugak la( I x nak komen cara pro. huhu...). So, hari nie really did make my day...

p/s: Jangan jelez ar... huhu...

What a night... TENSION!!!!!

Salam to all...

Malam nie, I barely sleep cos' I feel like sort of pening-pening sket. Banyak problem la hari nie. Ada pulak yang nak desak2 I malam2 nie, kononnya nak paksa I bagitau some stupid 'secrets'. Should I? Buat ape I bagi tau? For me, some thing was ment to be kept in silence. Buat masa nie, I feel like I don't have to tell anyone about the 'secrets'. well, come on laa, takkan pasal I tak nak bagitau that 'thing', dia nak panas2, bengang2, pastu nak marah2 pulak? Hello, I know that dia memang desperate nak taw that 'secrets' tapi I just can't tell it. It is not the best time nak bagitau dia. Why la people always love to push me a lot? I'm tired of this 'things' already; pusing2, paksa2, marah2 and sewaktu dengannya. Tolong laa... Dah takde keje lain kew? What la!? I really don't like the way dia cakap dengan I. I cakap baik2, dia lagi mau marah2. I know that dia adalah one of my best friends who I always ask for advices, but come on, boleh tak dia give me a break? Tak boleh ke kalau dia tak desak2? Pleeaaaazzzzeee!!!!! Kang bila I tak cakap, dia kata I macam2; tapi bila I cakap kang, dia pening2 kepala. I just tak nak dia terlampau pening2 kepala pasal the 'secrets'. I really hope that she would understand... ='(


p/s: AAARRRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Days that never ends...

Everyday, everytime,
Things came out,
Bothering the minds
Of the of the living-brained things
That god has created...

Everyday, everytime,
Such problems
Would easily appear
In humans life,
But hard to cope with...

Everyday,everytime,
Every single people
Would think, would try,
Would do anything
To solve such problems...

God will always test,
Every single human
That lives in this world,
Easy or hard, depends...

Most test that god created
Will make us remember him
Every single time,
The human breath...

Test that human could cope with,
God created,
Easy or hard, depend on people...

Days would never ends,
With every single test
That we have to solve
From time to time,
Everyday,
Always...

P/s: God will always test us, whether it is with good or bad type of test, just to mak us remember him...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A really great day!

Salam to all...

Yesterday, my family as having a baby shower party or 'Majlis Cukur Jambul' for my niece@little princess, Amirah Maisarah. Well, we did having a great day yesterday. The ladies from the marhaban group, fantastic! The kids, uncontrollable! Ye la, dah ramai2. over-excited ar diaorang. huhu... The food, SSLLLLRRUUUUPPP! Sambal Ikan keli+sayur kobis goreng+nasi putih yg manyak wangi punye(cos' they put bawang gorng inside. kikiki...)+ my mak ngah's mee hoon goreng. Kenyang siowt! huhuhu...

Then, at that night, as usual, my family's Manchester United's clan start tercongok kat depan tv sebab ada game versus ngan west ham united. Ape lagi, at the first half, memang kitorang banyak bunyi cos' tak gol2. Tapi, masa the final seconds for the halftime, Scholes golkan 1 point. Wieehaa!!! Then, masa the second half, Valencia, Gibson, and Rooney added some more goals. 4-0 beb! Gile ar. As a conclusion, stay-up kitorang malam tue memang berbaloi. Huhuhu...

p/s: happy days should always berterusan sampai bile2. kikiki...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Atoii ai.. Demam ar pulak...

Salam to all...

Last monday, I went for my STPM's Sejarah Malaysia&Asia's exam. You know, at that time, I'm sooo sick! Aisey, it really bothering me, man! I started demam since last night, where I thought that I wanted to stay up to study sejarah, but before that, I went to 'the bank to threw out my big money' thing (if you know what I mean, good for you! huhuhu...) You know what, I bleeded! Lots of blood came out while I'm doin' 'it'. Sakit siot! Aisey... then, I thougt that I wanted to stay studying, but suddenly, my body felt sooo damn tired, sakit2 badan dah start terasa... I tak tahan dah, I went out to my ruang tamu, grab my sweater and socks, then terus tido macam nenek tua... nasib baik sempat study (sket laa...).

The next day, I went for the exam. memang dah tak tahan dah, 2 bijik panadol dah I telan. sampai je kat perhimpunan masa nak cek suhu badan, well, that temperature reader can't read my exact suhu at that time. cheh... So, masa I nak start exam, again, my body started to feel tired. Eventhough I didn't sleep while I'm 'examing', I started mamai... penin2... Arrgh! Tah ape I tulis merapu pun I tak tau. Bile I read back my answer, mcm2 merapu. I erase balik my essay and made a new one. I did manage to answer all the question, but I went out early cos' I can't wait anymore. DAh tak tahan dah...

So, I straight went to my adik angkat(faizul's) house, and terus tido. I've planned to go to the clinic on that day, but faizul went back late. cheh... Then on that night my teacher a.k.a mama, Pn Norlaila and her 3 beautiful daughters (all university's student, siowt!) came. She told that I'm to tense about the exam(exactly!), same as what has happened to one of her daughters before. That's why I got my stupid fever! I ate 1 bijik of uphamol 500 and went back to sleep at 10pm. But hey, I woke up at 2.45 am, amd I felt the fever is gone! So ape lagi, I terus study P.Perniagaan 2 paper until 4am today. kikiki... best giler!

p/s: hope it will never happen again after this... CHEH!

STESRI'S PANORAMA-Khas untuk ex-stesrians06'/07'

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