Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Life's a bless, or a lesson.

Assalamu'alaikum to all.

Fuhh... again, dah lama dah tak posting (*agak cliche ayat ini. aih...). Well, it's been a long journey since January. Lot's of things had happened. 4 months. Lama sangat. However, in that 4 months, I've learned a lot. Relationship, friendship, love, courage, trust, sacrifice and such. Apparently, I'm not being myself for the past 4 months. By all means, I feel like, I'm not the person I am like I was in foundation year or first year degree. I guess... I am different.

For example: masa foundation dulu, I don't give a crap about people. Yes I do some, but not all. Ingat dulu, when all my Muslim friends asked me to live with them, but I refused and stayed with my five Non-Muslim friends in the house. Yet I survived and lived happily. Surau pergi jugak setiap hari. Not a problem. I am being myself. Ada je best friends yang bantu saya bila saya susah, but I'm always happy at that time. I had a simple life.

But when I entered degree, things changed. I guess I've changed since I hang out with these certain people. They are good people, I know. They taught me a lot. They've helped me to go through my life. I am totally appreciated it. Every single one of them. But on the same time, I... I started to become another person. Too sensitive, too cared about other people, too love, too much sacrifice for other people rather than myself. I don't know whether it is good or not, but things that happened surely had taught me a lesson.

3rd and 4th semester (this sem), I tell you, full of dramas. Again, so many things had happened. I laughed, I cried, I'm frustrated, feel like a total crap pun ada. Too much to handle. Yet I survived until today. I learned about people too. Some of them are not worth to help, or cried for. Because they don't even care. They don't give an eff, as long as they got what they want. This is what I got, after all this times. bullshits.

Seriously, some people are not meant to be trusted. Tak kira la dia tu baik ke, pandai ke, alim ke, manja macam mana sekali pun, these people are not meant to be trusted. There's always a scheme behind their mask, but I don't know what. That scares me. Hati manusia, boleh berubah dalam sekelip mata. Yang baik, sopan dan berhemah boleh jadi over rule dan sangat bossy, dan yang jahat dan jijik tu boleh jadi sangat baik, malah lebih baik dari yang kononnya sungguh alim dan baik tu. True. Sometimes, life is not fair as we thing it would be. Seriously. Tapi tak semua macam tu...

But then again, I didn't realized that there are person who really need me. Who waited for me, who appreciated me more than I expected. Allah, seriously I didn't realized this person. I was stupid. While I was busy with another friend who maybe not worth for me (I guess... I don't know... but if this person does worth being a friend of mine, this person should realized how insulting and dreadful this person had done to me.), that friend of mine actually waited for me. Yes. He was the one who comfort me when bad things happened through this semester. Allah, why didn't I realize this from the beginning? I do appreciate your help and support, friend... Sorry for breaking your heart without noticing that the person who really waited for me is you. In shaa Allah, I wont take you for granted. Mark my words.

Yes, I also did met lots of new friends, juniors to be exact. They also supported my through this semester. My personnel life, my so-called career, and such. They have been a great help. Thank you.

Too much of sacrifice had been done in this semester. Study, friends, feelings, money... Too much. But maybe Allah wants to create me a BIG STORY, which I don't know. A long, rocky journey. Alhamdulillah, I survived till today. Yesterday made the person I am today. Tomorrow's a mystery (Esok final exam mula. kuikuikui...). What comes next, I don't know. Lets just go with the flow, shall we?

P/s: Glee - Get It Right

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