My new blog pic.!

Baru edit punye! huhu... Sila la tengok puas2,k. kuikuikui...

Relieved in pain...

Salam to all...

Last four days, I went back to my kampung in Kuala Pilah, Negeri Sembilan, alone. Well, the first reason is that I really missed my mak angkat and my 'family' there. It's been awhile, actually, since I went back last year. Memang happy sangat perasaan nie bile I've met my grandma. She was really happy that finally I went back. My 'aunts' 'uncles' and my 'cousins' were also there. Wow! REALLY HAPPY HERE! However, even though I got a lot of things to talked about with my mak, her husband a.k.a my 'stepfather' was always with her. Actually, I don't really like him cos' he's sorta doesn't like me. You know, because I am Jamal's 'son' a.k.a my mak's ex. So, I think that he's sorta jealous of me because of I-don't-know-why. Shish... I just missed her very much, but he always in the line, blocking me to be with my mak. I could barely having chit-chat with mak. I felt really sad, but at least, I got my aunts, uncles, my grandma and my cousins to cheer me up. Haiya...

The second reason was that I want to clear up my mind that was full with problems. Lots of problems to solve. I did having fights in messages with the people that I really loved once back in KL (but not my girlfriend and my family, thank you very much, huhu...). My, only god knows how I felt on those days. Kenapa la diorang sanggup say those nasty words to me, just like they wont respect me anymore. I don't want to talk about it much. If they really love me like what they have said before, they wont do or say such words to me. After all this time, I help them, listen to them, give them courage and advices, but this is what they returned to me: Hatred, and maybe jealousy. Why? Well, I know that I did what I have to do. I felt like I am not me anymore. I'm not I've used to be... God, help me...

p/s: at least at the kampung, I felt so calm and unstressed because of the environment and the cool air. And at least, I did give my self time to think about how to solve the problems... Hurm...

Is This The End - Zee Avi

Is this the end?
Then why does it feel
That we’d only just begun
I thought we were done

I think I’ll hang on
If you still want me
But if you don’t
I guess I’ll move on

But if you need me
Close your eyes and dream
I’ll give you back your key
But will you be happy?

Said we’ll leave it alone
But I wont be here long
And when I’m gone
I guess then we’ll know...

What Am I To You - Norah Jones

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you...

Do they really make me like this...?

Do they really make me like this?

Do they really neglecting me?
Do they really wants to leave me?
Do they really hate me for being who I am?
Do they really cheated me?
Do they really played me?
Do they really make me as a joke?
Do they really stab me from my back?
Do they really take/know me for granted?

And lastly...

Do they really love me...?

Because I feels really hurt right now...
Why do I always feels that people that I love does always leaving me...?
Don't they love me anymore...?
Because I really love them so much, after god and my family...
*hmm...

p/s: What is really going on with my life...? God please help me... When is this 'thing' is going to stop...='(

Pasrah-Erra Fazira

Ingin ku Sendiri
Meniti Hari
Kala Sunyi
Yang Melanda Sepi
Alam Bisu
Bagaikan Mengerti
Berakhirnya Sebuah Memori

Ingin ku Melangkah
Membawa Diri
Kerna Cinta
Yang Dikhianati
Luka Rasa Untuk Menghadapi
Pengorbanan Tidak Dihargai

Kini Aku
Pasrah
Dengan Segalanya
Kepedihan Itu
Masih Terasa
Apakah Salahku
Apakah Dosaku
Tuhan Berilahku Petunjukmu
Redha Dengan Kehendakmu
Cukup Kali Ini
Kau Menyakiti
Berulangkali
Tak Usahlah Kembali
Dengan Rela Hati
Melepas Kau Pergi

Ingin ku Sendiri
Meniti Hari
Kala Sunyi
Yang Melanda Sepi
Alam Bisu
Bagaikan Mengerti
Berakhirnya Sebuah Memori

Just wait & see...

Salam to all...

Well, my emotions is TOTALLY,SUPREMELY DOWN lately... Got so many problems I had to cope with until now. Sometimes, I really don't understand, why does people will do something so reckless in order to get what they wants. Can't they just accept that sometimes, they had to let go something that they really love in order to continue life? Hurm... It doesn't mean that I hate them so much, or I just should let them be; but I did help them. I gave everything that I could give-help, advice, time, everything... I really do understand, that they're so desperate for 'it'. I know, they are dying, and I know, they really want to be with 'it', but they can't act like that; put their own live in danger, just want to show that they really want 'it'. It is totally crazy+nonsense! So now, if they don't want to listen, or follow and do as I say, well, I do feel really upset, but it's their decision. It doesn't mean that I'm giving up on them, NO! Never! But, only they could change themselves. If they still want to continue with their stupid-freakin'-reckless live, carry on. I know, it's hard for me to accept what they do because I love them very much... and I could barely watch them suffering their lives, but I already did what I did best. So now, it's their job now; to follow or to ignore, what I've been telling them for a long time. I don't know what to do or say anymore... I do feel sad right now, but I had to do this... I do really love them very much and I don't want to loose them. But I just have to wait and see what's going to happen to them in the future. It's their decision...
I know I had to do what's best for me and for them, and right now, all I had to do is just pray to god, please open their heart... So now, just wait and see...

p/s: what's is going on with them... god, I really wish I could help and change their mind...